My last post made me think (and I know what you're thinking - well, that makes one of us, Lt. - and to you I say shut the fuck up): imagine if I took all the shit in my posts that goes into parentheses and instead put it all in footnotes (even my footnotes would have footnotes).
(Leaving aside the fact that I have no idea how to make footnotes work on blogger) I'd be David Motherfucking Foster Wallace!!
Yes, go, you're thinking. Go already.
And this business of me telling you what you think/say is what my wife does to me. She has whole conversations with me where I don't have to say a word because she does my talking for me.
It's wonderful (as long as she doesn't veer off course from what I'd actually say, which she rarely does (which is kind of scary) <-- see - that's a place right there where there'd be a footnote within a footnote) because I don't have to pause in drinking my beer to respond.
One day soon she'll say to me, "That was a great conversation we had last night, hon."
And I'll say (because this time she'll wait for my response), "I wasn't home last night, darling."
And she'll say, "Yeah, so?"
I'm not sure where I'm going with this.
David Motherfucking C*cks&cking Foster Wallace!
(do i have any readers left at all?)