Terse Update

1. The wedding is only 2 1/2 weeks away. Yet everyday we are making small progress and neither of us is freaked out. In fact, I am looking forward to it more and more - both because I feel better as things get done and because by the time we get married I will be past some other stresses. The big remaining tasks (prior to our leaving town a few days before the wedding) appear to be: talking to the elusive banquet manager at our venue; finally choosing our first dance song, sending our song choices to the DJ and practicing dancing at least enough so we don't look like utter fools; sending various payments where they belong; and finishing some of the paper stuff like table escort cards.

2. Work is stressful because things are coming to a head and especially because of continuing schedule uncertainty. That's all I'll say about it - except that by next Friday the stress should taper considerably...really it has to, since I am leaving early the following week.

3. Had dinner last week with an old grad school friend who took his master's and went to law school, became a patent attorney, worked for many years in several different law firms, and was recently laid-off and is now basically moving back in with his parents. I'm not close enough to the guy to pry into exactly what his financial circumstances are. But while we were talking I was thinking about the time, about 4 1/2 years ago, when he was doing awesome and I was miserable (as a postdoc). Now things have reversed. Luck plays a huge role in the way these things go.

4. I have gotten extraordinarily paranoid about my teeth lately and finally went ahead and made a dental appointment for late next week. I've been thinking about it almost constantly - I am so irrationally afraid of the dentist. Over the past week I've had dreams of my teeth falling out, woken up worried something's wrong with my mouth, etc. Now I play out all kinds of scenarios of how it will go, how they will treat me, what they will say I need, what I should say and not say. Plus I have google to help me obsess over fruitless (and borderline hypochondriac) attempts at self-diagnosis. A little sore caused by biting my cheek is: oral cancer (no way) -- an abscess (even though it doesn't hurt and is in a place where there are no roots) -- pericoronitis (even though I'm too old and my third molars have fully erupted through the gum) -- an infection that will require antibiotics. Is it going to block my breathing passages? Lock my jaw? Is that headache I'm feeling because of it? Yikes! I've been looking at my teeth lately wondering if every dark spot down in my molars is a cavity that will need filling...or maybe even a root canal. Will my wisdom teeth need to be extracted? Is my enamel dissolved from all the acidic beverages (i.e., soda) I drink? How would I know? I struggle to decipher the grainy photos on some dentist's website and find I can't see anything. Are whiter spots areas of demineralization or are they left from older sealants I got, and should I ask about getting new sealants? Why doesn't my dentist list "sealants" on her website - does she not do them? That I'm in this position I know is virtually entirely my fault, though I also find myself wanting to blame the "OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!" style of my childhood (i.e. only two states in the world: everything fine and fucking catastrophe, with interactions with doctors/dentists definitely falling along that dichotomy), and past dentists (and orthodontists) who made me feel humiliated and dirty even as my teeth remained healthy. I need to develop some zen about this, and quickly. And I need to stay away from google. Meanwhile, I'm gargling salt water for my sore, brushing like five times a day (even brought my toothbrush into work today), flossing religiously so my gums won't bleed when I go, and using two different kinds of mouthwash. Kiss me, I'm a dental-phobe!

5. Our apartment needs some serious cleaning. There's been some major plumbing work going on in the building, and they've been in our apartment twice. The first time they took stuff out of our kitchen cabinets, pulled our stove away from the wall, broke the drywall behind the stove to get at the pipes, and then the water didn't come back on until 10 that night and they told us not to drink it for two days. Nice. Yesterday they said they needed us to clean out our hallway closet so they could acccess to the pipes - so we did and I'm not sure if they went in there but they also went into our spare bedroom, moved things around, and knocked another huge hole in the drywall. The communication on this from the condo office has been quite subpar, especially since the problem is actually two floors below us, and we're letting them work in our apartment out of courtesy. So add all this to the fact that both my fiancee and I spent at least some time traveling and there are wedding-related materials everywhere and the place needs some cleaning this weekend. If we could leave a nice clean apartment when we go I think we'll appreciate it when we return.

6. July is usually a total wash for me with respect to going to the gym, but - even though I haven't done stupendously this month - for July I've done pretty well. In addition, my fiancee and I have been doing some walking on the weekends, which is a great way to get some air, some moderate exercise, and some relaxation.

7. Finally, probably related to stress (but maybe just to water retention, or changes in temperature, or sunspots - who the hell knows), I've apparently lost about 5 or 6 pounds in the past week, dipping consistently below 200 pounds (as low as 197.5) when I weigh myself. I guess that's alright since I haven't lost any strength. Things are a bit unsettled now but within a couple of weeks these issues will have to work themselves out.